Archive for September 2015
I really need a friend. With benefits.
Am I just being crazy? Two months without any sex. I’ve lasted 18 years without sex, why can’t I live without it now? Maybe because the last two years of that last relationship was just sex, sex, sex, no connection, no talking, no whatsoever. It was either we were fighting or we were having sex. So guess what I chose? Yup. Don’t judge me. I’m sure you’ve done it before.
02/02/2015 – So I’ve downloaded an app called Tinder. Just because I saw all my single friends on it and I was like hey why not, it’s not like I’m going to take this seriously. In all honesty – it’s hella fun. Swiping dudes left or right. He’s cute, ahh nah that dude is definitely not cute. Which one is him? The hell that’s not even a picture of a human being. Talking to random people, it definitely gets my mind off my past relationship. I think that’s all we really need, to just talk to someone, doesn’t even have to be “talking talking” it just can be polite conversation. Wait — who the hell is this?
It’s a match!
You and Mark have liked each other.
Don’t you live on laddie way? Or rent out your house to people?
Who the fuck.. It’s 2AM, so it’s a little creepy getting a message like this in the middle of the night. Mind you, I’m still a little cracked out from the weekends before, just popping a ton amount of pills trying to forget the pain of my last relationship. Of course the conversation goes on very generic – how do you know me, how do you know where I live, oh you’ve met my dad? I guess that’s cool. I start to really look at his tinder profile, now I remember why I swiped right, because his profile made me chuckle. It said “100% herp free.” How serious is this guy?
Finally adds me on facebook, we have 130 mutual friends, and for the life of me I do not remember ever meeting him in middle school or even in high school. Huh. He’s heard of me before, and knows of me, but sorry babe, I don’t remember you at all! Haha.
Of course he’s 2012, comes from the same class as my ex. A little skeptical because class of 2012 was full of shitty people. So of course, I force him into the friend zone and start to call him the friend-zoning names: you fool, nigga, and can’t forget the best nickname – dude. And well, the conversation on facebook messenger was endless after that, surprisingly.
Lmfao this is golden. Not even sure how we managed to not meet all these years
The really generic – oh so you go to SJSU? Me too. What’s your major? Bio-chem? You work at Starbucks? Man that’s cool. What’s my order? Umm don’t judge me but it’s a hot chocolate and a butter croissant. Yes. I will spend $5.20 on a tall hot chocolate and a butter croissant. You want me to get you a bagel at school? What? Wait you wanna get high? I’m coming from H&M at the Great Mall. I’m not about to drive all the way back to the Eastside. You’re a fool, haha.
This goes on for four days. Until that fateful rainy ass day on February 6th, the Friday afternoon where I had an 11am-8pm shift at work.
Do you ever just wonder why it has never worked out with anyone else? Then you finally meet, and not to put a death sentence or anything, the one. You literally meet the one. You feel like you’re back in high school, the butterflies, the actual cinematic blur surrounding you and them, losing the track of time when you have conversations. Not know that it’s almost 6AM in the morning and your dad is already blowing up your phone asking, “where r u” in his fobby-texting voice. It’s like right out of the fucking movies. You meet the one that is so chill to talk to. You meet the one that you can act like one of the guys and be a girl at the same time. They accept for you for who you are, the good and the bad. Your history and your future aspirations. They fully support you mentally. They’re your number one fan, and you them. It’s never a dull moment with them, whether it’s going on a spontaneous trip to the beach or staying home and playing The Last of Us or watching Netflix all day. It’s kind of silly how much I’ve become such a simp. But you can’t help it when you find someone you love, Tony says. A little simpin’ must be done. They literally complete you.
And the best part? You meet them on tinder. Of all places, it’s a stupid app where you swipe left or right. You realize you’ve been their neighbor for your whole life. Who could have thought your “soulmate” has actually been next door. This whole time. This whole time that you’ve been sulking over a guy who has cheated on you over a dozen of times. This whole time that you’ve been self-destructing. This guy. Has been here this whole time. It’s crazy how much people spend time looking for love, how much you try to force a relationship between. A relationship is a two way street. I have had to learn that the hard way with my past relationship. I kind of question if I was ever in love with the past relationship. Maybe I loved the idea of love, in loving another person. But this is remarkably different. This is me, me being in love with another person. Them being in love with me. I would have never thought these last couple of months would happen. We are something that popped out of the blue. This love is a two way street and I love it. It’s pure serendipity from the very beginning.
We met on a Monday, hung out on a Friday, established “us” on a Saturday, then became us on a Wednesday. Our timeline of that awkward “are we a thing or are we not” thing is short, but we’ll go on forever.
ser·en·dip·i·ty \ˌser-ən-ˈdi-pə-tē\. : luck that takes the form of finding valuable or pleasant things that are not looked for.
I believe the sun should never set upon an argument. I believe we place our happiness in other people’s hands. I believe that junk food tastes so good because it’s bad for you. I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to. I believe that beauty magazines promote low self esteem. I believe I’m loved when I’m completely by myself. I believe in karma, what you give is what you get in return. I believe you can’t appreciate real love until you’ve been burned. I believe the grass is no more greener than the other side. I believe you can’t control or choose your sexuality. I believe that trust is more important that monogamy. I believe your most attractive features are your heart and soul. I believe that family is worth more than money and gold. I believe the struggle for financial freedom is unfair. I believe the only ones who disagree are millionaires. I believe you don’t know what you’ve got until you say goodbye.
Call It Karma.
Love will come through, it’s just waiting for you.
09/01/2015 – 9:15PM – Dude I freakin’ miss the sims. It’s been so long, it’s been what? Three or four years since I’ve made a video. I definitely miss the sims community and filming. I’m thinking about making short stories here on my website. I totally forgot I had this until I was going through my videos. Hopefully I’m not too rusty on writing. But I really do miss writing short stories, or even something like Call It Karma. A lot has changed since high school. I’ve graduated from college, guys. LOL. A full-time salary paying job, adult-ing is hard. I definitely miss my childhood and the simple days.. Well here goes nothing, starting my way back into script-writing/story telling.